


Determination

by queenmidalah



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 07:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1931214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmidalah/pseuds/queenmidalah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenny/Nick, "I can't be her." "I don't want you to be." from scripps</p>
            </blockquote>





	Determination

**Author's Note:**

> I've had an idea similar to this. The prompt just helped me kick off what may end up leading into a full length/timey-wimey story down the line. Now if I can just get off my butt and write the full length story...

_"I can't be her."_

_"I don't want you to be."_

_Jenny Lewis pushed past Nick Cutter, walking into his home before turning to face him. How she wanted to wipe that half-smile off his face, the one that turned her insides into jello one moment, butterflies another. She wanted to move over to him and press her mouth to his, putting better use to his lips then what they were doing now. It felt like they were mocking her now, amused by her presence and her words._

_"I mean it, Cutter," she finally said. "I'm not Claudia Brown and I can't be her. I need to be me and you need to accept that."_

_"You think I don't?" Nick questioned, closing the door._

_"You call me by her name all the time," Jenny said. "My name is Jenny Lewis. Jennifer Lewis. It's Jenny. Jenny is my name." Slight hysteria was filling her voice, as if saying her name over and over meant that she could retain her identity. It hurt that she had to even think that she had to ensure she remained who she was, but she could feel herself changing. All because of this man._

_Nick was silent, his footsteps almost silent as he walked the short distance between them. He lifted his hand, hesitating before he pressed a hand to her cheek._

_"I'm sorry," he said. "I know your name is Jenny. I see Claudia Brown when I look at you, because I met her before you. You don't know who she is, no one does, and I feel like it's my fault."_

_"Do you call me her name so you don't forget or because you want me to be her?" Jenny asked._

_"I don't want to forget, but I know you aren't her. I know you can't be her," Nick said, his thumb moving along the smooth skin of her cheek. "And I'm sorry for making you think I want you to be her."_

_"I can't be--," she started to whisper. Her eyes fluttered shut as Cutter cut her off with a kiss. She started to forget what she wanted to say, melting into his embrace as they kissed. She had wanted to discuss it more, tell him how she felt, but she let the moment flow as it did. They would have forever. Wouldn't they?_

"Jenny?" A soft female voice called. "Jenny!"

Jenny jumped, the small picture in her hand crinkling at the corner as her fingers tightened. She looked over her shoulder to see her mother standing in the doorway of the guest room, a concerned look on her face.

"Sorry, Mum," Jenny said. "I was... just thinking."

"Thinking about Professor Cutter?" her mother asked, stepping into the room. "I'm sorry to hear of your friend's..." Her face paled as her eyes fell on the image in her daughter's hand.

"Mum?" Jenny asked.

"Where did you get that?" she asked, her voice almost sounding terrified.

Jenny looked at the picture, a frown furrowing her brow as she looked at her mother. "What?"

"Where did you get that, Jennifer?!" Her voice was all but a demand now.

"It was amongst Cutter's things," Jenny said. "He had no family, so they were given to me. I found it before I..." Her parents didn't know about what she did at the ARC. She wanted to keep it that way. "I found it before I decided to turn in my resignation."

"How..." Her mother swallowed, reaching for the image. "When..."

"Mum, you're scaring me," Jenny said. Her heart was pounding and she felt like she wanted the Earth to open and swallow her. Did her mother know who this woman was too? She thought only the Cutters knew of Claudia Brown.

"Did Professor Cutter say who this woman was?" her mother asked.

"No, I never saw that picture before," Jenny said. She swallowed the hysteria forming in her throat. "But he kept mentioning a woman named Claudia Brown and would sometimes call me by her name." Her heart dropped as her mother's eyes closed and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Mum, what is going on?" Jenny asked. "Why are you crying? What aren't you telling me?"

"Jenny..." her mother said. She opened her eyes and smiled sadly at her daughter. "There's something you need to know."

~~~

The rain hadn't let up at all, even as she drove to the cemetary. Jenny was grateful that she knew the path so well to this particular area of the graveyard, because she could barely see due to the falling sheets of water. She was thankful for the rain to hide her tears.

Finally reaching the grave she wanted to see, she knelt in the mud. A stone marker had recently been added, indicating who lay beneath the dirt. She had come here every day since Helen Cutter had killed her husband and they had put him in this cold, solitary place. She remembered how despondent Connor had been when they had buried Nick. How tears had rolled freely down Abby's face as they had set his casket beside the grave of Stephen Hart. It had only been a few short months since they had buried the first member of their team. 

"I guess you weren't as crazy as we all thought," Jenny said quietly. "Lester kept trying to tell me that the job had started getting to you. To see phantom women with my face, insisting that I was some woman that never existed."

"She did exist, Cutter. Claudia Brown existed, but most records of her were wiped clean after she mysteriously disappeared." Jenny pressed her hand into the mud over the grave.

"My mum knew her," Jenny said. "Very well. She told me some truths about my life. My father is not my biological father. He adopted me when I wasn't even a year old. After he and Mum married. Mum was involved with a man, George Brown. They were young, foolish, and they thought they were in love. Until Mum got pregnant."

Jenny lifted her face a bit, closing her eyes and letting the rain cool her too-hot skin. "She had twins. A fight between her and George... he didn't want to be with her, she refused to give up her children. But her parents... they refused to help her and Mum couldn't take care of two babies. They... they came to an agreement. They would split us up, raise us separately. They made the agreement that they would not tell us we had a twin out there."

A sob caught in Jenny's chest. The rain washing the mud from her hand immediately as she lifted it to press the back against her mouth as she tried to calm herself.

"Mum hadn't heard a thing from him until almost two years ago," she said. "When Claudia suddenly disappeared without a trace. He wanted to make sure I was okay, that I hadn't... That's when he told Mum..."

A laugh escaped her. "Only you, Cutter. Only you would find separated twins and fall for them," she said. "Did she come to love you as I did? Where is she, Cutter? Where is my sister?"

She knew she would get no answers, but she felt a determination fill her. She suspected that Helen had something to do with Claudia's disappearance. Just as she was responsible for Cutter's death. She sobbed for a bit more, allowing her emotions to pour out before she started to calm. A new resolve filled her along with the determination. As she pushed herself to her feet, she said a final good-bye to the man who lay there. As she walked back towards her car, she vowed that she would find a way to avenge his death and Stephen's death. And she intended on finding out what happened to her twin sister. If it was the last thing she would do, Jenny Lewis would find Claudia Brown and bring her home.


End file.
